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Shana Abé

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Sweetest Dark, The
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J.M. Jeffries
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Biography - Jacqueline Hamilton Jacqueline S. Hamilton is the proud owner of twenty-seven shades of red lipstick. Though she considers herself a happy person, Jackie fights daily with her envy issues. She considers herself a expert in the fine art of being lazy. She would rather lay on the sofa patting her tummy, teaching Miriam’s dog how to smoke and lie then do something like write. Jackie is an unrepentant pen thief and is passionately enamored of Steven Spielberg’s Animaniacs. Jackie decided to write romance novels because she can’t sing, can’t dance, it doesn’t involve high math or high heels. She also believes the body God intended to give her was misplaced on Jennifer Lopez. Jackie doesn’t exercise because she believes the eleventh commandant is “Thou shall not sweat,” which is why she doesn’t have a body like Jennifer Lopez. Biography - Miriam Pace Miriam Pace is the only woman in the world with her own hand cream collection, which she uses everywhere on her body except her hands. Her greatest beauty secret is lip balm for the elbows. She has the refinement of a Victorian lady, the intelligence of a Nobel Prize Laureate, and--when the stars are straight and the moon is full--the vocabulary of a truck driver. She has been known to level mountain ranges with the lift of an eyebrow. But friends consider her generous, warm and a closet dominatrix. She is affectionately known as the curator of the Pace Zoo. At any time, one can find sheep in her back yard, a German Shepard mix breed dog who if she had a opposable thumb would rule the world, a Queensland heeler who tries to herd everything on two and four feet, a rescued English Cocker Spaniel who follows her around adoringly, kamikaze koi with an attitude, a Bengal cat who prowls the house pretending to be the ‘real’ thing and a Maine Coon cat who just knows he’s the cutest thing on the planet. Acknowledged as the Goddess of All Things, Miriam is the first person everyone turns to when they need a decision. She has been accused of making up Jackie’s mind for her, lets Jackie be the Goddess of Whine and indulge in her drama queen moments.

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